Update. Plan in motion.

Tomarrow, Monday, “Michael” it taking me to the hotel. I’ll be there alone. With no phone. and no special interest. Have read better reviews of the hotel.  Will be bored out of my mind!! All the stuff I want to keep goes in a plastic tub. Wich defeats the purpose since I need help with it. Will feel like a traitor dropping Shania off at the vet’s to be boarded.for a week! I want her to be healthy and well looked after but what will she think Well, at lest it will be cooler. Not looking forward to tomarrow. Allegedly, “Michael” will have some people to clean and throw out anything not in the plastic tub. Accept for my tv and my mom’s tables. computer. Hopefully.  If “Michael” doesn’t mess things up. I don’t want to go!!  At least the hotel won’t be so hot!! Somebody in my family was so hostile when I told them about it. I wish my family cared about me. Will report about this adventure when I get back next Monday. Listening to Scott Elrod’s sexy voice again. Will miss watching him. Will miss Shania so much!! Until next Monday folks.

Update: Knights inn.

So, I’ll be staying at the Knight’s inn? The pictures don’t look tooo bad. But the reviews sound terrible. Also there’s no tv and no place within walking distance to go. So boredom will be a big problem!! Has a pool but I don’t swim. Not even internet in the rooms. Nobody not even my cat to talk to. Will be ithout my special interest and special friend. No attention has been paid to my depression. by my so-called “carers.” Guess you can’t put it in a box so they don’t care. What about me as a person? What about my Autism? Do I not matter? How much more of this pain can I take? Well, should I insist on the room with the  jacuzzi?

Phyisically assisited but emotional pain bandoned.

I feel emotionally abandoned, “Michael” is moving me to a hotel while he comes to my apartment and throw everything out. No consideration is being shown to the fact that my mom’s tables-the only things I have left of her-are not being preserved. They are showing no consideration for my feelings what so ever. It’s like they are saying, we’re going to take you to this hotel. You have to but your beloved kitty who I desperately need for emotional support-to a vet for boarding. Leave the window of my apartment open in a very bad drug infested neighborhood. Buy new furniture since mine will be discarded.  Isolate me in the hotel. Without access to my “support system” if you can call it that. Go without my special interest. The problems here have stemmed from my caseworker not doing his  job.  I am in a very bad depression. They told me they will replace my broken microwave and we are arranging for someone at another agency to come in a teach me life skills. Bought me a new outfit.Yet I feel emotionally betrayed and abandoned.  There seems to be no thought to my depression and fears. I’m not sure really how to explain it. “Therapy” would be a prescripted thing designed for those with other disorders. No real input or interaction about what I’m feeling or am going through. One on one therapy would only take place every one or two months. Hello? All I have is a hotline number. They don’t care about how ,my Autism is doing. Emotionally I feel like I have been to the Judge Rotenberg center. granted, they are planning to help me move. But it’s like an emotionally sterile reaction on there part. My family is not there for me. it will be nice to come home to a clean air conditioned place. But my emotions are taking such a blow that I wonder if I’ll survive it. Those tables are precious to me.  This pain feels like a physical assault. Can’t take much more. Tomarrow is supposedly D-day. That hotel sounds like torture.  Although much nicer than here. Don’t know what to do. Granted they are going to pay for it. Hotel because other place didn’t work out. Might call hotline. What if I say I don’t want to go to hotel and board my kitty? I almost dread the answer. All this stuff was planned without input from me. Oh well. I’m a tough girl. There is a large plastic tub to put things in. That stuff  I keep. the tables don’t fit inside.  Feel like I am betraying my cat by boarding her. what will she think?. Don’t want to go “Michael” But will see what happens.

Update. Need advice.

Well, “Michael” was supposed to come and help me. The manager got a new air conditioner  to replace the one that doesn’t work in my apartment.. But I need somebody’s help before they can put it in.  “Michael” Lied again of course!! It’s about one hundred and five degrees F in here again and he knows it. He is a  narcissist and a pathological liar. I’m beginning to wonder if the place he works at, isn’t hiring clients now. He clearly has a mental illness of some kind. Everyone else I go to says “let Michael do it” and walks away. Even after I tell them what he is like. I can’t take much more. of this. I  need some advice. I don’t want to give up my cat who is my best friend!!

Autism Safety for First Responders & Parents

Autism Safety for First Responders & Parents

A segment from the film “Making Our Way: Autism” about the importance of autism safety. Autism training and resources for law enforcement, parents, first responders and teachers.

Good news from the Apalachians.

I just had a visit from “Michael” and a nice lady  from, something called Shelter plus. “Michael” and I described the living conditions here. And the fact that the rent takes up so much of my income. I have to sign some papers tomarrow for a voucher. But will probably be moving soon!!!! 😀 The lady from Shelter plus said I could get a voucher. And of course Shania my kitty will come when I move too. The lady told me she wouldn’t move me into someplace she wouldn’t live in! 😀 So glad I didn’t give up. The new place will be cheaper because of the assistance. It’s true that person after person offers to help and doesn’t follow through. But this time feels hopeful. At last! 🙂 Thank you Jesus. Definitely the cat’s meow.

 

 

Not sure I want to be a “Christian.”

Been thinking about something. Look at people who consider themselves “Christian” these days. What happened to “love they neighbor” “Pray for those who use you and persecute you.” “Love your enemies.”? The average person who considers him or herself born again these days are spouting guns and Obama. They seem to think that if your conservative your saved. If your liberal you condemmed. What about repenting and turning from sin? Today the thing considered the worst that a “believer” can do, is call sin sin! Any word but sin!! Why have they forgotten what Jesus taught died and arose for? Why do they read “Bibles” that delete the parts that don’t condone our sin and blasphemy filled culture. The “Christians” today all claim to be serving God. And yet have no problem with someone handicapped being killed!?? There are millions of people living-and dying alone-on America’s streets. And yet people reject those without money as if they were evil? When as money become their god? The Gospel in Our “churches” has been replaced with with You tube. You are warned in this country for eating the wrong food. And yet how many are going hungry? Is that what Jesus taught? Look at the stuff in our schools right now. The films and television. All you hear is “don’t judge” while people are dying in their sins. This nation is headed for judgement. And all people do is blame their government in stead of repenting. How many times did Jesus say “repent”?  The Lord said “Go into all the world and preach My word.” Yet they do anything but. The Book of Revelation is almost considered “unchristian.” I’m tired of being hungry. I’m tired of the violence. Tired of the cruelty to animals the everyone gripes about yet does nothing.  The God of the Bible has been banished from the United states. Look how your treated for saying Christ is the only way. I don’t consider myself “Christian” the way America and this world define it. I’m not sure I want to.

Meth or me? Am I being pushed out?

I live in a department of housing building. Basically a housing project. And it has been handed to the dopers. If you live here and you are not a druggie, you are basically seen as an enemy. Because those who traffic-make and sell drugs-have more money!! The police might as well not be in this town. I have to wonder how many meth labs might be in this building. The residents are treated like dirt. Things are stolen, our public rooms are lost, to the department of housing. Long story. It is definitely not safe here. My “advocates” are useless. Totally. There is no support. Not even from my family. And things are getting worse and worse for me. I feel like God hates me. Difficult to even care about Christmas really. Have not really decorated. I feel so hated. The entire town is going to the drugs. And quickly! And no action is taken to stop it. Speaking up against it is not popular. I’m having several meltdowns a day and there is no therapy here. None. Don’t know how long I can take this. My depression is getting bad. It feels like nobody cares. Can’t really talk to my family members. It often feels like folks would rather have the dope in this apartment than me

What is my Asperger’s like?

Well, sometimes I feel very isolated. Even though I do like my independence. The social and communication problems are part of the worst. The sensory issues. And being seen as such a third-class-or much worse-citizen are torture. Living in poverty. My insurance will not pay for most medical treatment.  I like being part of a special group of people. called spectrumites. But hate so much attention being put of stuff like blue lights and “awareness. While so many of us need to be cared about!! I’m so sick of feeling like we’re being proccessed! Telling someone about Autism will not change thier hearts.  And that is where the problem lies. Not in their heads. But in their hearts. The stygma bullying and killing will not stop until NT’s hearts change. Does anyone think if a person had told Hitler that Jews were being put into camps it would have stopped him? Enough already! Unable to get to too many places when I don’t drive. I hate my Autism. NT’s atitudes towards the disorder are very hard to live with. The depression and insomnia. I like finally knowing what’s wrong wwith me. And having so much information about it. Not being at the skill level that others my age are. Even Aspies, is rough. The way the system deals with me. Not having anything available here for those with Autism. This is such a cold cold world. Where murder and killing are aplauded and life is considered to be of so little value! Especailly those with disablities. I am watching a movie. A man was aplauded-literally-for killing a woman. How did our world become that way?  I don’t look at life like that.  Killing is not compassion. It’s hard enough to live with my Asperger’s. I don’t need that too.