Update. Plan in motion.

Tomarrow, Monday, “Michael” it taking me to the hotel. I’ll be there alone. With no phone. and no special interest. Have read better reviews of the hotel.  Will be bored out of my mind!! All the stuff I want to keep goes in a plastic tub. Wich defeats the purpose since I need help with it. Will feel like a traitor dropping Shania off at the vet’s to be boarded.for a week! I want her to be healthy and well looked after but what will she think Well, at lest it will be cooler. Not looking forward to tomarrow. Allegedly, “Michael” will have some people to clean and throw out anything not in the plastic tub. Accept for my tv and my mom’s tables. computer. Hopefully.  If “Michael” doesn’t mess things up. I don’t want to go!!  At least the hotel won’t be so hot!! Somebody in my family was so hostile when I told them about it. I wish my family cared about me. Will report about this adventure when I get back next Monday. Listening to Scott Elrod’s sexy voice again. Will miss watching him. Will miss Shania so much!! Until next Monday folks.

Update: Knights inn.

So, I’ll be staying at the Knight’s inn? The pictures don’t look tooo bad. But the reviews sound terrible. Also there’s no tv and no place within walking distance to go. So boredom will be a big problem!! Has a pool but I don’t swim. Not even internet in the rooms. Nobody not even my cat to talk to. Will be ithout my special interest and special friend. No attention has been paid to my depression. by my so-called “carers.” Guess you can’t put it in a box so they don’t care. What about me as a person? What about my Autism? Do I not matter? How much more of this pain can I take? Well, should I insist on the room with the  jacuzzi?

Phyisically assisited but emotional pain bandoned.

I feel emotionally abandoned, “Michael” is moving me to a hotel while he comes to my apartment and throw everything out. No consideration is being shown to the fact that my mom’s tables-the only things I have left of her-are not being preserved. They are showing no consideration for my feelings what so ever. It’s like they are saying, we’re going to take you to this hotel. You have to but your beloved kitty who I desperately need for emotional support-to a vet for boarding. Leave the window of my apartment open in a very bad drug infested neighborhood. Buy new furniture since mine will be discarded.  Isolate me in the hotel. Without access to my “support system” if you can call it that. Go without my special interest. The problems here have stemmed from my caseworker not doing his  job.  I am in a very bad depression. They told me they will replace my broken microwave and we are arranging for someone at another agency to come in a teach me life skills. Bought me a new outfit.Yet I feel emotionally betrayed and abandoned.  There seems to be no thought to my depression and fears. I’m not sure really how to explain it. “Therapy” would be a prescripted thing designed for those with other disorders. No real input or interaction about what I’m feeling or am going through. One on one therapy would only take place every one or two months. Hello? All I have is a hotline number. They don’t care about how ,my Autism is doing. Emotionally I feel like I have been to the Judge Rotenberg center. granted, they are planning to help me move. But it’s like an emotionally sterile reaction on there part. My family is not there for me. it will be nice to come home to a clean air conditioned place. But my emotions are taking such a blow that I wonder if I’ll survive it. Those tables are precious to me.  This pain feels like a physical assault. Can’t take much more. Tomarrow is supposedly D-day. That hotel sounds like torture.  Although much nicer than here. Don’t know what to do. Granted they are going to pay for it. Hotel because other place didn’t work out. Might call hotline. What if I say I don’t want to go to hotel and board my kitty? I almost dread the answer. All this stuff was planned without input from me. Oh well. I’m a tough girl. There is a large plastic tub to put things in. That stuff  I keep. the tables don’t fit inside.  Feel like I am betraying my cat by boarding her. what will she think?. Don’t want to go “Michael” But will see what happens.

Update. Need advice.

Well, “Michael” was supposed to come and help me. The manager got a new air conditioner  to replace the one that doesn’t work in my apartment.. But I need somebody’s help before they can put it in.  “Michael” Lied again of course!! It’s about one hundred and five degrees F in here again and he knows it. He is a  narcissist and a pathological liar. I’m beginning to wonder if the place he works at, isn’t hiring clients now. He clearly has a mental illness of some kind. Everyone else I go to says “let Michael do it” and walks away. Even after I tell them what he is like. I can’t take much more. of this. I  need some advice. I don’t want to give up my cat who is my best friend!!


 I live in the worst state for someone who has  a disability Especially Autism. There is some sort of Autism vacuum here. I do not know another person offline who is Autistic.  No therapy. Stigma is amazing and painful. And the atmosphere here is definitely not one of treatment. People are very intolerant of those who are different here. And I feel so isolated.  Even the ones who are supposed to “help” me make things much worse and disappear. They do nothing to help. It feels like there is hostility to a degree from everyone here. I have no friends besides my dear cat. The wood that the house my apartment is in, the wood is rotten.  Am afraid  here as it is unsafe. There are a lot of drugs here. it gets very hot in here again and the manager does nothing. Adult protective services came by. premised to help and took me to apply for another apartment. but that was last week. I have the feeling they will forget about me. Just like all the ones just like them who came before. They will probably tell me-just like the others-that “Michael” the caseworker-will do it!! He does nothing to help me. No matter how I describe things here. he just goes on about throwing everything out. And leaving me sleeping on an air mattress. With all the bugs. Michael make no effort to help me find a place to move. Or cool things off in here. The woman from APS said throwing everything out won’t stop the roaches. I feel so abandoned. So alone and isolated. Can’t take much more. The situation here is much worse than I’m describing. Asked for therapy but was rejected. my depression continues to increase. The thought of facing another week of this…any advice? many promises made by ASP. Just like all the others.