105 degrees can’t take much more.

It’s about one hundred and five degrees in here. I can’t take this much longer. the stupid heater is broken and I can’t shut it off. I’ve tried. my poor kitty. The fact that the rent and electric bill are so high I can’t pay them, Don’t know what I’m going to do. This hellhole is going to be the death of me. And the people who are supposed to be helping me. They’re doing nothing feels like a mockery. my spending check from my payee was stolen out of my mailbox. Drugs outside my door and next door on the other side of a paper thin wall. I can’t take this much longer. And yet all you hear about in regards to Autistic people are blue lights puzzle pieces and IQ numbers!! Why not forget that crap and actually help those on the spectrum that need it. Stop waiting for Autism speaks to do it!!! My depression is getting worse and worse. And all I would be told by my totally non supportive “support team” is “take an antidepressant!!!” Wich doesn’t work for those on the spectrum! Why not assist me. That would help!! This fan doesn’t cool things off much. It feels like my ribs are crushing my lungs. Yet nobody listens and no doctor will treat it. What happened to the people with disabilities act? What a mockery. It’s like there is an Autism vacuum in my town. As if it doesn’t exist outside of a few kids. I am getting no support or compassion outside of a friend I email. Who lives overseas. Am trying to hang on for my cat’s sake. But don’t know how long I can. And this place is in such bad shape it’s not even safe. The manager will not make repairs. And my “carer” knows this when he moved me in here. I lost the other place because of racism and the fact that they were moving people in from the projects-and drugs-in and throwing tenants out. Illegally. When something happens like this place, narcotics, the loss of my last place, everybody sees it as my fault. Can’t take much more. My love for my cat might be the only thing keeping me going. I do believe in God though. But feel He either hates Autistics or hates only me. http://wvaspie4christ.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/caretaker-is-useless/

Body image, disordered eating and dysmorphia- an autistic woman’s experience and views

Originally posted on sonnolenta...:

(Trigger warning: disordered eating, mention of suicide)

I’ve had body image issues, dysmorphia and disordered eating for as long as I can remember. Whether I was nitpicking over my food as a child, starving/binging as a teen, or carefully calculating the caloric content of every single bite of food I looked at, food has always been a struggle for me. My weight/body has always been a source of anger and frustration. And confusion. As an autistic person who has spent a great deal of time observing the behaviors of others in hopes that I could act like a normal person and thus, pass for a normal person- of course I noticed other people’s bodies and what they consumed. Since I was usually watching other girls, as you can imagine, I was constantly seeing other girls in contrast and comparison to myself.

But it started off long before I was really much…

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